“Wasn’t worth me working”: The national crisis trapping mums like Lizzy

Before she had children Lizzy Jacobs worked full-time as a manager in customer service. 

But two years ago, the mum from Melbourne’s western suburbs gave up her secure job to freelance. The impossibly high costs of childcare were the deciding factor. 

“It just wasn’t worth me working full-time, because the majority of that was going to have to go into childcare,” Lizzy, 38, tells FW’s At What Cost? podcast. 

“What I learnt with the current childcare rebate structure is the more that you work and the more that you earn, the less rebate you get.” 

After her son was born in 2017, Lizzy transitioned from full to part-time work. She was earning less but she got a higher amount from the rebate. Then, in 2023, she left her previous position altogether to become a freelance photographer. 

The decision was partially because she needed flexibility for her young family. But she also knew that the maths didn’t add up. With the cost of childcare, it wasn’t worth returning to a full-time salaried position. 

A common trap

Lizzy’s situation isn’t unique.

What she’s described is a phenomenon sometimes called the “cost of working trap” for parents – where they can’t afford not to work, but the cost of childcare is so high it eats into their earnings.

A national poll by The Parenthood found that the vast majority of parents (85%) believe the cost of living means “families don’t have a choice” and both parents need to work.

But Australia’s childcare fees are among the highest in the world, meaning many families can’t afford to put their children into care while both parents work.

As a result, one parent is effectively forced to pull back at work in an attempt to juggle childcare responsibilities with paid work. That same poll from The Parenthood found that six in 10 parents would work different hours if childcare wasn’t so expensive.

Women bear the brunt

The cost of working trap doesn’t impact men and women equally: research has found it’s almost always mothers who reduce work hours after having children. On average, Australian women’s earnings fall by almost 50% in the first five years after having a child. By comparison, men’s incomes remain stable.

These career sacrifices by women fuel gender inequality on a national scale. They contribute to the gender remuneration gap, which currently sits at 21.8 percent.

“Mothers are really trying to balance out work and family,” says Professor Leah Ruppanner, a professor of sociology and founding director of the Future of Work Lab and the Gender Equity Initiative at the University of Melbourne.

“And they’re trying to do gig economy work in order to make their work and family life work. And the result of that is … they end up in jobs that perhaps their skills are better than,” Professor Ruppanner says, speaking on FW podcast ‘At What Cost?’.

This relatively short-term decision, based around the first few years of a child’s life, has long-term implications for women’s financial stability and security. The superannuation gap, for example, currently sits at about 28 percent. 

That means that while Australian men in their early sixties have a median super balance of about $204,000, for women, that number is less than $147,000. Women aged 55 and older are now also one of the fastest-growing groups of people experiencing homelessness.

The role (and toll) of gendered assumptions

So why is it typically women dialling back their careers when a family can’t access affordable childcare, and one parent has to step in to fill the childcare gap?

For Lizzy, the decision came down to flexibility. Her husband is a tradie whose job simply couldn’t be done around school hours.

But more broadly, gendered stereotypes lead even the most egalitarian of heterosexual couples – and the people around them – to assume that these child-rearing sacrifices should be made by women. This leads to a financial juggle experts call ‘childcare maths’.

“Often [couples will say], ‘okay, how much does childcare cost? How much does the woman earn?’ And often people will say, ‘well, you know, we’re actually using almost all of my salary to pay for childcare. So therefore it’s not worth it’,” says Director of the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership, Professor Michelle Ryan.  

“But why is her salary seen as being having to pay for childcare? You could [instead] say, ‘okay, what does our combined salary add up to and then how much is childcare?’”

But government policies play a role, too

Lizzy has made her career change work for her. As well as running her photography business, she’s recently opened her second business: a co-working and meeting hire space called CoWork + Create in Hoppers Crossing, Victoria.

It all worked out. But she still laments the ‘what ifs’ for her professional future. 

“If childcare were free, I would have been able to grow my business probably at a more rapid rate. And I probably would have stayed in some more managerial leadership roles,” Lizzy says.

“[Being the primary caregiver] takes a very big mental toll on not just me as a human being, but on my relationship with my husband,” she adds. 

“There is that resentment of, ‘It’s all right for you. get to just get up and go to work and not have to, you know, enter the battlegrounds of getting everyone dressed and out the door every morning and then show up as your best self to work’.”

Ultimately, Lizzy made the best choice for her family based on the options available to her. But, to her, it’s obvious the system needs an overhaul.

“Why should the child care system dictate the way women work? And not only that, it impacts their earnings and it impacts their [feelings of] worth and their career.”