Career

Sorry, not sorry

Five everyday ways we self-sabotage at work

By Briana Blackett

Career

Five everyday ways we self-sabotage at work

By Briana Blackett

Elton John was wrong. Sorry is not the hardest word. I say it all the time. 

“Sorry to point this out but…”

“Sorry to ask but….”

“Sorry but I really need those stats/reports/details…” etc

Sound familiar? According to research recently published in The Economist, saying sorry comes all too easily for women, even when they have nothing to apologise for. The problem is, this polite habit can undermine us. 

Over-apologising is a common way women unwittingly self-sabotage at work. But it’s by no means the only one. Here are five others you might find scarily familiar:

1

Undervaluing our contributions

If you’re guilty of this, you’re not alone. A study on the ‘self promotion gap’ found that “women rate their performance less favourably than equally performing men” – by a margin of 33 percent. Why do we do this? We’re often raised to think it’s immodest to speak of our achievements, or share credit around (even if we’ve done most of the work). And then there’s the backlash – we’re more likely to be seen as arrogant if we do reach out for that gold star. 

2

Under-delegating

It doesn’t matter how busy we are, women are less likely to delegate than men. We do this primarily because we don’t want to appear bossy but there are a bunch of other factors too, such as not wanting to overburden others or trust issues around the task. This works against us though. People who delegate outperform those who do. Plus, we can find ourselves with unreasonable workloads and facing burnout as a result. 

3

Imposter syndrome

Regardless of how qualified, experienced or successful we are, many women still feel like frauds. Michelle Obama, Jacinda Ardern and Maya Angelou have all spoken about feeling imposter syndrome despite their world renowned achievements. Aside from the wellbeing issues (self-doubt, anxiety) this can cause, it also means we’re less likely to put ourselves forward for projects and promotions that are critical for career success.

4

Perfectionism

Striving for perfection can be paralysing and women are more prone to it than men. A recent study found women “demonstrated higher self-critical tendencies, likely due to societal pressures that emphasise achievement and self-evaluation.” Perfectionism can slow us down, stress us out and prevent us from reaching our potential at work.

5

Lack of networking

Ok, this isn’t so much an act of self-sabotage but it’s one that we can do something about but often don’t. It’s well known networking is critical to boosting our connections and career opportunities but, let’s face it, it’s hard to juggle after-work drinks with the school run. The trick is finding those networks that cater both to our professional and personal commitments, which can be hard to do.

FW’s Platinum+ program has built in networking opportunities – both in person and online – designed for professional women who are big on ambition but short on time. Plus, it unpacks all the ways we self-sabotage – sadly, there are more than five – and teaches us how to get out of our own way.

I’d apologise for the shameless plug but…well…

For those ready to take the next step and looking for a much-needed career-boosting opportunity, register with FW’s Platinum+ program here.

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EOFY SPECIAL OFFER – Sign up for Platinum+ Emerging Leaders by June 30 and receive a bonus FW Masterclass on Building High Performing Teams. Learn essential skills on strategic leadership, managing change, effective collaboration and conflict resolution. Plus, how to embed resilience in a high performing team to prevent stress and burnout. Find out more here.

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