What Geraldine Bilston wants victim-survivors to know

Geraldine Bilston is a professional worker in domestic violence policy and program, a mother, a student and a board director. She’s a mum, and a student. She’s also a victim-survivor of intimate partner violence. 

She introduces herself in that order very deliberately. 

“Because often when I’m asked to speak or to step into these spaces, the first thing that people know about me is that I’m a victim-survivor,” Geraldine shared on FW’s There’s No Place Like Home podcast. “[And] it’s the only thing that they know about me, and really the whole rest of who I am. And what I’m capable of is erased.”

When Geraldine first spoke to There’s No Place Like Home, she had been advocating publicly for several years. She’d also started working in the domestic, family and sexual violence sector. She assumed her lived experience would be seen as a positive in that space. She was surprised that, at times, it wasn’t.

“I think one of the unintended consequences of sharing so much of myself, and so much of that publicly, is that people interpreted that lived experience as a weakness in me, particularly when I started to explore possibilities of contributing professionally to the work,” she said.

“And that was really disheartening to me, because in this work, we work so hard to tell people that family violence is not a private problem, and it’s not your fault, what happened to you.”  

“Lived experience of intimate partner violence is not a weakness for me in the work. In fact, it is a strength.” 

For almost a year, Geraldine has been part of our team. She’s our sensitivity consultant, which means it’s her job to bring her knowledge of the sector and her lived experience, to ensure the stories of victim-survivors are told with dignity and care. For her, this work has been fundamentally restorative. 

“Over the last few years, establishing a career in this work has, one been a challenge, and two, been really rewarding to prove to other people and to myself that, that I’m really a very capable professional, and that that lived experience of intimate partner violence is not a weakness for me in the work. In fact, it is a strength.” 

She sees the value in connection and community in her own healing. 

“Connecting with other people, and having an opportunity to learn from them and grow from them has been really meaningful for me and has enabled a growth and understanding beyond the lens of my own experience.” 

For her, this is also a pathway to structural change. She notes the power of “survivors coming together, connecting with each other, and drawing strength from each other”. 

“That collective drive and that collective demanding change, I think is so powerful. And for victim-survivors, I want you to know the best is yet to come.”