Lana Jones has performed 32 consecutive “fouettés en tournant” – whipped turns – in Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. En pointe, on stage, under the gaze of sellout audiences. It’s a legendary sequence that anyone who isn’t a prima ballerina – and perhaps, some who are – would find impossibly daunting. But this is not the role that saw Lana struggling to find her feet. 

After a 17-year stint with The Australian Ballet, celebrated for her lead roles in Swan Lake, Giselle and The Sleeping Beauty, Lana swapped her slippers for scrubs. Today, she’s a registered midwife. A position she entered with a shaky start.

“It was terrifying,” says Lana, recalling her early days on the birthing ward in the latest season of FW’s award-winning podcast, Too Much: The Switch. 

“I was okay with pressure… I was that one you could put on for opening night to do the big ballets. I was that person – I delivered. And so, it’s really strange for me to now be in this role where I’m second-guessing myself entirely. And it’s because it’s life and death. It’s not a performance.”

Closing The Australian Ballet’s 2018 season, Lana took her final bow on her own terms. Retirement had been playing in her mind since welcoming her son, Velasco, in 2016. Returning to the barre after maternity leave, she’d noticed a shift. 

Image credit: Daniel Boud

“I was coming into the studio, day after day, and I was looking around and seeing the young [dancers] and they were so hungry for it. And I was thinking, I don’t feel like that anymore,” she says.  

Then, after one of her performances, Lana dashed home to see her son and husband – also a former Australian Ballet principal, Daniel Gaudiello – who had just returned from a trip without her. 

“I was so excited to see them, and Velasco just pushed me away and was crying,” says Lana. “I remember that really breaking me and thinking, well, nothing I do out there is worth that for me. I feel like I’m missing out on so much with him.”

Velasco inspired her move – and also the direction she took. 

“I definitely wanted to do something that wasn’t about me… And then when I had my son, I had an awesome experience with the midwives and I thought, that’s it,” she says. 

“Strength is how I’ve managed to stay and keep going. Because there have been so many times I’m like, I can’t do this. I cannot do this.”

This wasn’t a typical pivot for a prima ballerina. The vast majority of retired dancers pursue dance-related careers, like teaching or choreography, that don’t require a three-year, full-time degree. Those close to Lana knew that, now she’d set her sights on something, she’d make it happen. But not everyone was convinced. 

“We had career advisors doing a transition program at the Australian Ballet and they weren’t very supportive of my choice,” says Lana. “They were really trying to talk me out of it in a sense, like, “oh, you’ll need to get really good marks to even get into that course, we’re not sure if you’ll make it.”

Rather than being deterred, these remarks spurred Lana on. While her physical strength was never in doubt – 32 consecutive “fouettés en tournant” as the Black Swan, considered – here is where Lana’s mental strength came to the fore. 

“Strength is how I’ve managed to stay and keep going. Because there have been so many times I’m like, I can’t do this. I cannot do this.”

Three years in, Lana says she’s still not feeling like a fully formed midwife. According to her new colleagues, it takes five years to settle into the gig. 

“I have moments where I’m in my scrubs and I’m standing in a birth room… looking after this woman and her family and I think to myself, wow,” says Lana. “There are definitely moments of pride.” 

Lana doesn’t sugar-coat the challenges when giving advice to other women who want to make a career switch. “It’s going to be hard,” she warns. 

“And it’s going to be seriously uncomfortable and you’re just going to have to know that and if you want it bad enough, it will be worth it. And you grow so much from being in that uncomfortable space. It’s changed my life. I’ve reinvented myself… I feel so happy and fulfilled where I’m at right now.” 

Listen to Too Much: The Switch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Like what you hear? Please rate, review, comment and share.